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Sunday, 15 November 2009

I feel very called and driven to address a particular issue. This last weekend, I was approached by a young man who asked me a question about a lie concerning pornography that I’ve heard numerous times. The widespread nature of this lie shows just how successful Satan has been at spreading it among young men, and how the evil one has given us just another justification to put between ourselves and purity.

He said: “Jesse, I’ve heard that it’s not a sin to masturbate if it isn’t lustful/if you can keep lust out of the picture. Is that true?”

I’ve heard a lot of young guys talk and ask about this particular statement or “loophole”, or whatever you want to call it. Furthermore, there’s a popular Christian book (which shall remained unnamed) which states this notion, or at least something very similar. It is a very widespread, common understanding about masturbation.

Well? Is it true?

First of all, if we’re honest with ourselves, this seems impossibly unrealistic. If someone, somehow, could separate lust from masturbation, they’d probably be up for winning the... Nobel Porn Prize or something (that was just off the top of my head, but come to think of it, if nothing’s done about the rise of pornography, don’t be surprised if they start issuing that to people someday...). Just quickly, to define “lust”, we’re talking about the twisting of love, from outward action for the benefit of another, to inward action for the benefit of self, sexually. What does... masturbation in itself sound like to you? It’s certainly not “outward” or for anyone else’s benefit other than the self. And just briefly, to understand why this is just generally an extremely dangerous act to try and perfect, to masturbate without the incorporation of lust, all we need to do is to look at what the Bible tells us in Ephesians 5:3

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity....”

Not even a hint of sexual immorality or impurity. A hint means... more than 0%. Kind of like, if there was a hint of dog poo in your birthday cake you would not feel nearly as happy about surviving another year of life as you were before you found that out. You don’t want any dog poo in your birthday cake right? So why... put it on the counter beside the batter? Do you get what I’m saying? I’m not saying masturbation is equal to birthday cake. But, even if it was okay to masturbate without lusting, the act of masturbating opens up a massive opening for the occurrence of lust, which, if masturbation was okay without it, would just be like opening up a large possibility for that black forest cake to become... crap forest cake.

But the biggest thing to understand about all of this, is that even if you can separate lust from masturbation, it’s still wrong.

Why?

The late Pope John Paul II stated that if a sexual act is to be an act of love, and not lust, it must be four things:

1. Free

2. Total

3. Faithful

4. Fruitful

The act of masturbation releases a chemical in the brain called Oxytocin, which is meant to bond us to our future wives during sex once we’re married. But if this chemical release is happening outside of marriage, what is it bonding us to? It can bond us to... anything related to the act of impurity that we’re involved in. This point destroys the first two points of that list shown above. If we are allowing this chemical to be released outside of marriage and apart from our future wives, we are limiting our ability to bond to our wives. The act of masturbation, if ever “total” is “totally” based around the self. That sounds like lust, not love. And also, this chemical release opens us up to addiction (this chemical is released in the brain when someone takes cocaine as well), and addiction is quite understandably the polar opposite of “Free”.

The biggest point though brothers, is number 4. The only “fruits” of masturbation are not truly fruitful at all. Masturbation breeds self-absorption (pride), greed, sexual gluttony, and can often be a result of sloth. That covers four of the seven deadly sins. And all of these are focused on the self in an attempt to satisfy, while in reality leaving us wanting more. The difference between love and lust. Love satisfies, and lust does not. So it’s the opposite of fruitful.

I think it’s important to focus on always moving forward, always trying to grow stronger in purity, in self-discipline. A big trap that’s very easy to fall into is trying to figure out just how much we can get away with, while still being considered “Christian” or “a good person”. Why don’t we forget about just trying to get away with what we can, and instead focus on actually making things better in our lives and in the lives of others through true, honest, genuine love. Because I’m pretty sure that even if you do win a Nobel Porn Prize, you probably won’t be putting that one up on the mantle for Grandma to see when she visits for Christmas.

 

 

Comments
  •   |SAdministrator |2009-11-15 02:55:36 Matt Fradd
    avatar
    Excellent! Such a well researched and thought provoking article! Thank you for the definition of lust that you gave, and
    the visual of a steaming turd next to my birthday cake preparations. I got a lot from what you said. Thanks
    0 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-15 02:57:56 Fr. Barnabas
    avatar
    Great article Jesse,

    Your point about how much we can get away with is so very important. Imagine a husband saying
    to his wife: How much can I cheat on you before you leave me? or How much can I beat you up before you call the police?
    The obvious answer is - not at all! And yet with sin and our relationship with the Lord that's sometimes how we act
    and think - How far can I go until it's a mortal sin? How much can I get away with without having to go to confession.
    And the real question is: How can I avoid weakening my relationship with God? How much can I move in the opposite
    direction away from sin?
    1 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-15 15:22:46 Jesse
    avatar
    Exactly! Well put Father, thank you. I think this attitude also can spread to other areas of our lives as well, with the
    kind of movies we watch, the kind of language we use, etc. And I think it's important to always hold ourselves to the
    standard that Christ set for us, and no other.
    0 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 01:48:12 mwilli  - no!
    "The act of masturbation releases a chemical in the brain called Oxytocin, which is meant to bond us to our future
    wives during sex once we’re married." - what?

    You're mixing incompatible realms of knowledge here. If you want to
    make moral arguments based on religious teachings that's fine, but don't mix scientific terminology with it. This only
    reveals that your faith is not as solid as you think.

    Let me quote pope Benedict: "That catechesis is having a
    difficult time is a platitude that does not need to be demonstrated at great length. The reasons for the crisis and its
    consequences have been described often and extensively. In the technological world, which is a self-made world of man,
    one does not immediately encounter the Creator; rather, initially, t is only himself that man always encounters. The
    fundamental structure of this world is feasibility, and the manner of its certainty is the certainty of what can be
    calculated." (Handing on the Faith in an Age of Disbelief, p.13)
    4 3
    Reply
  •   |93.107.154.xxx |2009-11-17 01:54:25 Anthony  - mwilli, your off base.
    Mwilli, your line of reasoning is off course brother. You are saying that faith and reason, or faith and science
    contradict each other. If I was to accept your logic about not mixing science with morals I suppose I could only share
    the devastating spiritual effects of sex outside of marriage and not dare touch upon STD's

    And your quote from Pope
    Benedict, does nothing for your case either brother. Explain yourself more carefully if you want to be understood.
    Thanks
    4 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 01:56:11 mwilli  - p.s.
    Let me complete that quote:""That catechesis is
    having a difficult time is a platitude that does not need to be
    demonstrated at great length. The reasons for the crisis and its consequences have been described often and extensively.
    In the technological world, which is a self-made world of man, one does not immediately encounter the Creator; rather,
    initially, t is only himself that man always encounters. The fundamental structure of this world is feasibility, and the
    manner of its certainty is the certainty of what can be calculated." - Handing on the Faith in an Age of Disbelief,
    p.13
    0 0
    Reply
  •   |93.107.189.xxx |2009-11-17 02:05:09 Anthony
    That does not mean that faith and science are incompatible. Show me where it says that? Tell me how talking to a group
    of teenagers on the topic of chastity from the spiritual and scientific side is misguided? Spiritually, it is sinful,
    medically it is unhealthy to have multiple partners? Perhaps I'm misunderstanding you? what are your thoughts on this?
    1 0
    Reply
  •   |93.107.189.xxx |2009-11-17 02:07:53 Anthony
    Let me give you another example. There have been studies connecting the birth control pill with breast cancer. Now as a
    Catholic I know that contraception is intrinsically evil. Can I not share with my friend about the spiritual and medical
    consequences of taking the pill?

    I appreciate your thoughts?
    0 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 02:09:35 mwilli  - glad to!
    I'm not saying that reason and faith are incompatible, I'm saying that this particular author doesn't have a clue about
    neuroscience.

    How can anyone claim that Oxytocin is "meant to bond us to our future wives during sex once we’re
    married"? Don't cows have oxytocin? Don't mice have Oxytocin? Do mice and cows get married?

    The statement in this
    article about oxytocin, while perhaps intended as a throwaway line, is deeply revealing of an INSUFFICIENT grounding in
    scientific reason. I am saying that if this author wants to make moral arguments without scientific claims that's fine,
    but if he wants to make scientific claims, let him play by the rules.

    The quote from pope Benedict is clear enough, but
    since you ask for more clarification, let me try. It is clear that we live in a technological age, and in an
    increasingly godless age. The two are not unrelated. The attitude of mind that goes with technical jargon, the
    mechanistic explanation of the world, is fundamentally based on control and manipulation of nature. This is especially
    apparent when the "object" of a mechanistic explanation is man himself, and all the more so when the object is
    the human mind - as in this line about Oxytocin.

    There is a legitimate realm of rational inquiry into the physiology of
    the brain, but the line between that and moral reasoning is often breached in the mass media. Given catholic teaching on
    this matter, I think it would be appropriate for people in teaching positions such as this forum to be more careful with
    their language.
    1 1
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 02:14:20 mwilli  - more
    The way this website cuts off replies is very annoying!

    To complete the thought: The quote from pope Benedict is clear
    enough, but since you ask for more clarification, let me try. It is clear that we live in a technological age, and in an
    increasingly godless age. The two are not unrelated. The attitude of mind that goes with technical jargon, the attitude
    of controlling and manipulating nature, is fundamentally anti-religious. This is especially apparent when the
    "object" of technical description is man himself, and all the more so when the object is the human mind - as in
    the case of this line about Oxytocin.

    There may be a legitimate realm of rational enquiry into the physiology of the
    human brain, but the line between that and moral reasoning is often blurred in the media. Given catholic teaching on
    this matter, I think it would be appropriate for people in a teaching position, such as this website, to be more careful
    in their choice of words.
    1 1
    Reply
  •   |93.107.189.xxx |2009-11-17 02:14:21 Anthony
    Okay, I understand now that your problem is not with science but with Jesse's quote on oxetocyn. I'd invite you to do
    some research on it, and if Jesse is incorrect. Prove it to him, and us. Simply telling him that his faith is not as
    solid as he things isn't going to hold water.

    Look forward to your feedback
    1 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 02:14:48 mwilli  - more
    There may be a legitimate realm of rational enquiry into the physiology of the human brain, but the line between that
    and moral reasoning is often blurred in the media. Given catholic teaching on this matter, I think it would be
    appropriate for people in a teaching position, such as this website, to be more careful in their choice of words.
    0 1
    Reply
  •   |93.107.189.xxx |2009-11-17 02:17:37 Anthony
    Okay, well, as I said, prove to us why he's wrong using logic and we'll all move on. I'm not trying to be sarcastic. I
    thank you for your questions, I agree that we should not just accept things on face level. Thanks
    1 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 02:26:33 mwilli  - "prove it"
    Has Jesse offered us any proof for his unsupported allegation that Oxytocin is "meant to bond us to our future wives
    during sex once we’re married"? Has he even given us a reference? And yet the first comment under the article
    praises it for how "well-researched" it is!

    However, since you are asking ME for proof, let me ask once again:
    Don't cows have oxytocin? Don't mice have Oxytocin? Do mice and cows get married? This elementary question is an example
    of the right way to use human reason, and that is all that is needed to prove the falsity of Jesse's claim.
    0 1
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 05:23:13 Jesse  - What a sight to wake up to!
    avatar
    It's 6:10 in the morning where I'm at! Good to wake up and see such a good debate going. I'll probably have to split up
    my reply into a few posts.
    Mwilli, I appreciate you holding me accountable on this one. In any kind of philosophical
    discussion, which we're taking part in right now, it's important to consider what you're hearing objectively and
    rationally before you believe it, so I don't fault you for asking. But we truthfully are engaging in philosophical
    discussion - the rational discussion of reality - and even though we're dealing with spirituality, philosophy most
    certainly has a place. I think St. Thomas Aquinas could agree with you on that one. So I would disagree with what you
    said about mixing incompatible realms of knowledge, because using science to argue faith is exactly what Aquinas did (to
    back that up, you can see how he argues Natural Law, or faith in God through science in Summa Theologica Q. 91, art. 2).
    2 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 05:43:08 Jesse  - Oxytocin
    avatar
    What I was getting at with Oxytocin as the chemical that bonds us to our wives, was a bit of extrapolation on a common
    psychological teaching called Attachment Theory, originally developed by John Bowlby (Cassidy J (1999). "The Nature
    of a Child's Ties". in Cassidy J, Shaver PR. Handbook of Attachment: Theory, Research and Clinical Applications. New
    York: Guilford Press. pp. 3–20. ISBN 1572300876.). It was initially developed as evolutionary theory, but one does not
    have to believe in evolution to understand and rationally agree with its claims. It simply states that "a child
    needs to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver for social and emotional development to occur
    normally." Makes sense. So, to expand upon this, the chemical oxytocin accomplishes this, as it is released (for a
    woman) during childbirth, and in breast feeding, bonding a woman to her child (Source: Lee HJ, Macbeth AH, Pagani JH,
    Young WS (June 2009). "Oxytocin: the great facilitator of life". Prog. Neurobiol. 88 (2): 127–51.
    doi:10.1016/j.pneurobio.2009.04.001. PMID 19482229.) This quite obviously establishes oxytocin's "role" as a
    bonding agent between two individuals. And so my next step was to make the claim that since oxytocin is naturally
    released in men *only* during intercourse, it is logical to conclude that it serves this purpose for men: to bond a man
    to his wife.
    2 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 05:53:12 Jesse  - continued....
    avatar
    (Source: Lee HJ, Macbeth AH, Pagani JH, Young WS (June 2009). "Oxytocin: the great facilitator of life". Prog.
    Neurobiol. 88 (2): 127–51. doi:10.1016/j.pneurobio.2009.04.001. PMID 19482229.) This quite obviously establishes
    oxytocin's "role" as a bonding agent between two individuals. And so my next step was to make the claim that
    since oxytocin is naturally released in men *only* during intercourse, it is logical to conclude that it serves this
    purpose for men: to bond a man to his wife.

    I don't think that the argument that a cow and a duck experiencing the
    release of oxytocin in a strange sexual encounter changes this fact. It actually only further proves my point, of the
    power of oxytocin. If oxytocin is meant to bond us to our wives, which I believe the above stated psychological research
    supports, then we need to be careful when we release it, so that we can still be able to appropriately bond to the woman
    that God prepared for us since we were conceived. Sure, if a cow and a mouse were somehow able to engage in sexual
    intercourse, oxytocin would likely be released, and it likely would carry out one of its functions and result in a
    certain amount of bonding between the two animals. That does not undermine its natural purpose, which is inherent in
    animals as well, to bond two partners together.

    The fact that it can be released outside of sexual intercourse within
    two members of the same species is irrelevant. That does nothing to undermine its purpose. And I'm... not sure if that
    would be physically po...
    2 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 05:53:49 Jesse  - continued...
    avatar
    so that we can still be able to appropriately bond to the woman that God prepared for us since we were conceived. Sure,
    if a cow and a mouse were somehow able to engage in sexual intercourse, oxytocin would likely be released, and it likely
    would carry out one of its functions and result in a certain amount of bonding between the two animals. That does not
    undermine its natural purpose, which is inherent in animals as well, to bond two partners together.

    The fact that it
    can be released outside of sexual intercourse within two members of the same species is irrelevant. That does nothing to
    undermine its purpose. And I'm... not sure if that would be physically possible anyhow. haha.

    The line on Oxytocin was
    most certainly not meant to be a throwaway line. I'm sorry if it seemed that way. It was meant to show how biologically
    and psychologically dangerous involving oneself in masturbation can be.
    2 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 05:57:44 Jesse  - In conclusion...
    avatar
    I hope this proves sufficient in supporting my position. Sorry to cause confusion, but again, I appreciate the
    accountability! I think it's also important to note that this view is also shared by Jason Evert as well, who I would
    say I am largely a "student" of. But nonetheless, I believe the sources above support it sufficiently.
    3 0
    Reply
  •   |Registered |2009-11-17 15:37:25 Brian Henritze  - Sweet!
    Thank you for this Jesse! I had read the research on the release of Oxitocin in females but had not come across its
    realeas in men. What a powerfull tool you have shared with us!
    1 0
    Reply
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