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MarriagesMany of us approach marriage as the end-all—the end of our searching, the end of our praying, the end of our waiting, the end of our sexual struggles. Imagine then the havoc wreaked when pornography breaks through the bonds of marital love and becomes an unwanted third (and fourth, and fifth, and sixth…) party in the bedroom. Sex is meant to be beautiful, fulfilling, and selfless. With pornography in the mix, it becomes frustrating, empty and selfish. The dominating mindset of pornography crashes into our marriages, romps around on our beds, and destroys the intimate unity meant to be created by sex. Our homes are no longer safe, nothing is sacred, and, more often than not, the marriage will crumble so much, it falls. That is true even within a secular world. Even among people who hail pornography as healthy, as natural and as some sort of right, pornography brings damages. Pornography and other unrestricted internet activities are the cause of over half of the divorces among couples who have no regard for God and His commands. Even non-Christians, in the core of who they are, understand that sex was created with a sacred purpose and that pornography defies all that is sacred and destroys all that is good. Pornography drags a husband away from the one woman who does truly love him. It fills his mind with lies and images of women who want him, who are waiting for him, who will do whatever he wants them to do. A virtual harem waits for his beck and call. Why can’t his wife be the same? Pornography leaves a wife despairing as she watches her husband fade away. When the reason for his distance finally is known, she realizes her love has been replaced by the lust of countless nameless, faceless strangers. She is broken. Why isn’t she good enough? In some cases, the roles are reversed, and women fall into the snares of pornography, while a husband slowly loses his wife. In other cases, the roles are shared, as couples sit down together and worship the god of lust. No matter what the case, pornography has no place within the covenant love of a marriage. However, all is not lost. There is hope for those who find their lives filled with the affects of pornography. God longs to free, to forgive, and to restore the joy of your marriage. You are able, with His power and grace, to bring it back to what He intended it to be—a fortress, a safe sanctuary for growth, a place for sacrifice and commitment, for strength and trust, and full of love. Consider this quote from a hurting wife: "If I'm not always as available sexually and willing to do whatever he wishes as the women he has fantasized about, he may accuse me of being a prude. If I look normal, and unlike the models he has come to adore, he may accuse me of being fat. If I have needs, unlike the passive images in the magazines, then I may seem too demanding for him. |
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