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Articles

April Garris
Dea. Ralph Poyo

 

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Men

As the saying goes, “Boys will be boys.” That is exactly what pornography creates—boys. Regardless of the ‘mature’ label, there is nothing mature or masculine about pornography. Pornography, by its very nature, destroys men and helps men destroy women. Pornography has become acceptable, even standard, for all men. And it is killing them.

Men

The societal pressure is unreal. You aren’t one of ‘the guys’ if you don’t struggle with porn. You aren’t one of ‘the guys’ if you don’t masturbate. As a result, we have a society and a church full of ‘the guys’ who are OK with wallowing in filth. Men who take a stand and cherish women are labeled as ‘pansies’ by the men and as ‘chauvinists’ by the women. Those who stand for purity are ‘weird.’ Those who wait for marriage are considered abnormal. When did we let the abuse of women and the emasculating of men become normal?

Pornography does not promote women. It promotes a man’s selfish right to pleasure. It doesn’t promote love. It kills love. It is impossible to love something that isn’t real. When a man sits in front of that screen, he does not love that woman. He knows nothing about her. He only know that he loves how she makes him feel, and as long as it feels good, she remains a faceless nameless slave—a victim of his lust and this attitude that ‘boys will be boys.’ When he gets bored with her, there is a media world full of women for him to choose. He can discard a woman without a second thought. There is no connection. No love. Just lust.

Pornography degrades sex to a mindless, emotionless bodily function, robbing it of all the intimacy it was meant to create. Sex no longer becomes an act of love between a man and a woman. It no longer becomes a picture of Christ loving the church. Sex becomes an instinct, like eating. It is all about the needs, the desires, the drives and how to fill those now and in the quickest way possible. There is no surrender either to God or to the needs of a wife. It is self-centered and self-serving love, and it falls so short of the intent God had for men.

God has a design and structure for men. Christ left an example for men. Men are called to be the strong, fearless leaders. Men are called to be the sacrificial, life-giving lovers. Pornography tells men they are nothing more than strong, fearsome dictators and that love is long since lost. It ingrains in their minds that women exist solely as objects of their pleasure, that a woman’s body is fair game.

Pornography demotes men. It robs them of all the glory they were intended to manifest and locks them in the corner of dark room. It takes their wild, adventurous hearts and chains them down with addiction, guilt, and shame. It dangles satisfaction in front, gives them a taste and then pulls away. It starves men of all the wonder and power they were supposed to know.

We can change the norm. We can change the status quo. Men can be free from pornography and lust and can rise up to cherish, respect, honor and love women. They can rise up and become men worthy of respect and admiration. They can live lives without hiding in some dark corner. They can be good fathers and they can be great husbands without pornography. You don’t have to be one of ‘the guys.’ They say ‘boys will be boys’ but we have enough ‘boys.’ It’s time for men to be men.

Consider this quote from an honest man

"I  absolutely dread hotels. I always eat a long leisurely supper, stalling before returning to my room because I know what's coming. Before too long I have the TV remote in my hand. I tell myself it'll only be for a minute, but I know I'm lying.

I know what I really want, I'm hoping to catch a little sex scene or two as I search the channels. I tell myself that I'll only watch for a while, or that I'll stop before I get carried away. Then my motor gets going and I lust for more, even turning to the X rated channel. The RPM's are going so high I have to do something or it feels like my engine will blow. So I masturbate.

On a few occasions I fight it, but if I do, later on when I turn the lights out, I'm flooded by lustful thoughts and desires I stare wide eyed at the ceiling. I see nothing but I literally feel the bombardment, the throbbing desire. I have no way to get to sleep and it's killing me. So I say "okay, if I masturbate I'll have peace and I can finally get to sleep", so I do and guess what, I still can't get to sleep. I wake up totally exhausted in the morning."

- Wally (A business man and frequent traveler)

 

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