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Hi my name is Trevor, im 24 years old and porn and masturbation has taken a chunck out of my life. So im going to get right to it and tell you my story. Back when I was 14 I found a porn magazine in a box in my house and I was instantly hooked to porn and masturbating. I wasn’t into my faith really at that point so I didn’t really think much of it. Wasn’t concerned that it was wrong to be looking at it. I was in that state of mind up until I was 20, but I was so addicted by that point that I just couldn’t stop. I continued to buy the porn, magazines, movies, internet subscriptions, etc. When I was old enough I started going to the strip clubs. When I turned 23 I found out about this exotic massage parlour that was in town so I quickly acted and started going to that place and blowing $100-200 every time I went which was at least once a month sometimes twice. I was so ashamed about all of this that I couldn’t even tell the priest in confession whenever I went. So I would just live my life like it was normal and didn’t worry about it. I didn’t have anyone to hold me accountable or anything until I started my missionary work with NET ministries.
When I went there I told the guys about it and had them pray for me cause even up until I went there I was still addicted, this was 2009, 24 years old. During training there were many talks given but there was one talk that hit me hard which got me into confession and confessed it, but even when I went I had the hardest time telling the priest, I was crying, shaking, and ashamed. But I did it. I was receiving the Eucharist up until that day but that was because I didn’t know it was wrong. Once I found out I didn’t receive when I knew I was in mortal sin.
When I was on the road I was doing good but I still fell back into masturbation and impure thoughts, on more then on occasion. I came home after my year and thought ok this is just going to get better, but I was wrong it was hard, even harder then when I just didn’t care. The devil knew how to attack and I would just say this I to hard after a couple days of being free from it and just give intro him. We are in 2010 and to this day I have been having that hardest time resisting porn and masturbation.
But at the same time it has got better cause all ive done is given in to the internet. I pray about it everyday but I know I can’t do this alone and I am crying out to you for your prayers, support, suggestion or anything. Im doing the missionary work again 2010/2011 so I need the help. Please Pray for me. Thanks for giving me the time in your lives.
Your Brother in Christ
Trevor
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